Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Change's Of the true nature In life .
No matter how hard i try, no matter how much i try to push you away.Nothing seems to ever work.Everything i do, everything i say . Reminds me of you . Reminds me of what we have been through. Reminds me of the memories we’ve been through . Is this fair? Is this how im sepose to end up . Im not sure if this is a curse or a blessing to show me that ive found the right one ? We have been through so much this past year , problems never seem to end for us . But its amazing to see after all that , after all the pain and fights . Nothing seem to change between us. What has she done ? What have i done ? Im not sure if anyone of you have ever been through what we have , we have BEEN through so so much , More then anyone one of you people out there could take . If you’ve been through half the problem we have , Id say you would probly give up or cut your wrist just to avoid the problem. But us ? Me and her ? we just kept it going , fighting , Annoying each other with our presence . But at the end of the day you ask? What happen to us ? Love . it kept us together . Kept us stronger . I can belive what she did to me in the past , I can belive what i did to her in the past . We were both IDIOT’S . but you know what ? Id do anything to relive what i did with her before . Holding hand’s , the way she watches me while i sleep , or annoys me while i sleep asking me to hug her . Thats how irritating and annoying she is at time’s . I remember having a place to stay every week . After class i would quickly pack my stuff and get on the 1st train heading to kepong to just see her face . Haha im telling you during that time , i didn’t even care how i looked like , how i smelled or how i was going to dress to see a girl . Cause all i knew is she was going to hug me the same , love me the same as everyday of lasting days . Its weird you know . Sometimes i taught , could it be that she did some magic / voodoo stuff towards me that cause me to never seem to be able to forget her, But then i realised she was as crazily inlove with me as i was with her now and i DEFINITLY didn’t do any magic sort charms to make her love me . So you know what i think ? i think its fate . She changed me . I changed her . Before she looked like some child that fell from the tree with a bump on her face haha . but now she looks so matured and amazingly beautiful that the only photo im able to keep in my computer / Handphone and even my Ipod is her’s ! wierd i know . But sadly nothing last forever , nothing goes the way we want too . I guess thats the point of life . But by god’s name i miss her . i miss every moment of being with her . I don’t care if all you think im a fool or think i deserve better . She IS better ,we have this thing , this jolt of lightning that just sparks everytime were together .
I got to admit , life has been thrilling and amazingly awsem with my friends that bumbo razack , lol hes to old that he’s back hurts all the time . Nabil that black guy never seems to want to admit that hes a playboy ! haha .”Im joking nabil, we all know your loyal with her” and Soffi , haha this dude scares the shit out of me . He has this looks that says i want to rape you . But all these friends of mine . Well they helped me become a better person , Helped me change to be a better person . I see myself being friends with these people for the next 30 years or 40years to come if im even still alive. And i expect them to be my left man once im getting married ! haha you heard that right . Without them id probly still be lost with the wrong kind of friends .
I remember once i have 9 piercings all over my body , it was INSANE! But my awsem dad who by the way is my idol and hero in life , he never pushed me to changed, he never forced me to change , ask yourself ? what would your father do if he see’s you with a whole bunch of piercings all over your body , and stretching’s on your ear at the size of a 50sen coin ? Haha i asked a few of my friends and they said either their father would kill them / or kick them out of the house ! But you know what my daddy did , and if your wondering who im talking about , im talking about the one man of my life “ Syed Abdul Rahman “ he looked at me at smiled . He said , I quote “ Ani (who is my mum) this is teenager’s trend i think , I have a few friends who follow this kind of trend , (mum mumbling) then he looked at me while my mum was lecturing me knowing that he would probly get lectured after me “ Abdullah your going to change one day “ tears in his eye’s while asking me this question , i answered “yes Abuyah” and he said “ thats my boy” and just ignored my mum haha . don’t get me wrong i love my mum too ! (its just my dad owns my heart all the way) Id risk my life and soul for him just to see him happy . My dad even shakes hand like friends do , haha its weird how my dad trys to hard to be young sometimes , he would even come in my room at times and ask , “Abdullah do i look ok wearing this?” and id say “Ew no wear this, and this oh and this!” and he would be like “Ugh ok” haha . See thats what makes me love him , thats what makes me want to be like him one day in the future , i have so much more to learn , im still so young , and one day i want to be just like you daddy . Best still my dad knows of this Secret girl ive been with for 1year and a half now , Hes even talked to her ! ive even shared all her photo’s with him , and hes ok with it! I love you dad ! i love you so so much . If i was destined to be someone successful one day , Ill never forget you . In fact im going to fight between Saddiq and Salleh on who’s house both you and mama are going to stay it . See thats how much we love our parents .
Back to my main topic lol , This special annoying girl .
I wonder what she’s doing now ? I msged her, called her but she doesn’t even seem to care anymore , shes changed alot , being better and worst at the same time , All the positive parts about her are lost in the mist of dust , how i wish i could bring her back , i know it was my fault , i know i made the mistake of leaving her when she needed me the most , and i regret it all . If i had just waited , My dad was right . Time tell’s it all . now shes to buzy with some random guy’s that i cant even pronounce their names , to buzy with herself till at some point i wonder if she even still thinks about me anymore . I want you back , I want your love , I want every part of you for myself , I want the whole world to know that your mine , If i live long enough . I know we would probly end up having cute babies together , well here goes , I love her . I still do , and no matter how much we seem to annoy each other at times , Ive always loved her .
Ps: I imagine seeing myself travelling around the world with you , Doing crazy stuff along the way . how amazing would that be ? Im left with 4 months studying in MIAT till im going to start with my working experience ! How i wish id have her by me supporting me day by day . Remember this quote " No matter what happens , Kita lah couple paling bodoh if we leave each other !" I can never forget this words . God i miss her so much . :'(